I Don’t Wanna by Barbara Rawlins-Green

The young mother stood at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the railing for fortitude. She took a deep breath before yelling, “Jessica, wake up honey! It’s time to get dressed for church!” Silence. “Jessica!” Nothing. “Jessica?” A fly landed on the wooden banister-- it was so quiet she heard it. Suddenly, a cold knot of fear the size of a golf ball settled in her stomach. What if Jessica was sick? Quickly she took the fist few stairs before the next thought stopped her mid-step. What if an intruder had snatched her daughter from her bed? The knot was now the size of a softball. Climbing the stairs two at a time now, the breath was yanked from her, and her stomach recoiled queasily. What if some mysterious disease had taken her life? The knot was now the size of a cantaloupe. Zooming down the hallway to Jessica’s room, she screeched to a halt outside the bedroom door. She struggled to quell her panic—and her imagination. If nothing was wrong, she didn’t want to terrify her child by charging into her room in a wild-eyed frenzy

          After her heartbeat returned to normal (sort of) she slowly turned the knob. The room was deathly quiet. The fluffy sunshine yellow bedspread was in a balled up heap in the middle of the bed. She didn’t see Jessica. She could feel and taste biter bile rising in her throat. Her unsteady legs took her to the headboard where she pulled back the think bedspread. No Jessica. Her eyes widened as she tossed the bedspread all the way back. She saw her sweet little girl, curled in the fetal position, with a pillow over her head. Mom lifted the pillow to see Jessica’s peaceful face as she slept soundly. Ousted from her self-made cocoon, she shivered slightly as the chill in the room got through to her. What a beautiful sight. Even the drool trickling from her mouth was wonderful. The mother smiled in maternal bliss. Even at 5 years old, her only child was a notorious night person. It took her parents forever to get her settled down each night, but once she was asleep, she fell into a near coma. As long as her slumber wasn’t interrupted, she was a sweet, even-tempered child.

          “Wake up, honey,” she cooed as she gently shook her shoulder. Immediately Jessica’s face scrunched with annoyance. She didn’t open her eyes or speak. Shaking her more firmly, her mother said, “Jessica Marie, I know you hear me young lady. Get up; we’re going to be late for Sabbath School.” Drowsily, Jessica muttered, “I don’t wanna make you late mommy. Go without me.” Her mother slapped her hand over her mouth so her tiny tot wouldn’t hear her laugh. Her child was logical, if nothing else. That is usually how she got though to her.

“There is nobody here to stay with you. Mommy can’t leave you alone”

“Barney’s here.”

“We don’t use the dog as a babysitter, Jessica.”

“Why not? He loves me and will protect me,” she replied, now clearly irritated by her mothers intrusion.

Child Protection Services insists that mommies leave their children in the hands of people, not animals. You know that Jessica, do come on now.” Jessica slowly opened one eye to peer at her mother. “”So because I’m a child, I have to suffer?”

“Exactly how are you suffering Jessica?”

“I have to get up ‘cuz come services person don’t know that Barney isn’t just a dog, he’s family member.”

“Jessica, you’re not suffering because you have to get up!” her mother admonished.

“Sure I am cuz I don’t wanna get up!” Her mother sighed. Was it just a few minutes ago that she wanted this child alive?

She picked Jessica up, cradling her close as she took her to the bathroom. Her baby lay docile in her arms, snuggling against her warmth. “Why does Sabbath start so early in the morning, mommy?”

Smiling her mother said, “Actually, sweetheart, it started yesterday after the sun went down.

”Puzzled, little Jessica asked, “Each new day starts at midnight, right?”

“        Yes, but when Jesus was here, each time the sun went down, a new day was started. So following Jesus’ example we do the same thing on God’s holy day.”

Jessica hopped from foot to foot as her warm feet connected with the coolness of the tiled floor. Her face was now animated as she worked her way into the day. She grinned a front toothless smile when she looked into her mothers eyes. “I know about the holy day mommy!” Jessica exclaimed. “God was so tired He made one day to rest on, right?”

“That’s right, honey. Good girl!”

“What makes something holy, mommy?”

“God makes things holy, dear.”

“Like that fire brush thing?”

“Hmm?” her mother asked absently as she stripped Jessica of her nightie and prepared her bath.

“You remember mommy! God had told Mr. Moses to take his shoes off cuz he was standing on holy dirt, right?”

“That’s absolutely right, sweetheart! God decided that that particular place was holy, so it was. So, what did Moses do?”

“He took off his shoes!” Jessica shrieked proudly.

“Did Moses argue with God, or tell Him it was too early in the morning to be bothered?”

Jessica shook her head. “Nope, he just did what he was told to do.”

“That’s right! Now, do you remember the word that means to do what you’re told to do?”

“Uh-huh, it’s obey!”

Her mother twirled Jessica around in a bear hug before gently sitting her in the warm soapy water that half filled the tub. “What a smart little girl you are! Where did you learn all of this?”

“Oh, mommy, you know,” she said quietly.

“Tell me so that mommy knows that you know.”

“I leaned it from, Sabbath School.”

“Very good, Honey. Do you enjoy Sabbath school?”

Nodding, Jessica answered, “Yep! I like my teacher and the other kids, too!”

“That’s great! So if you didn’t go to Sabbath school you’d miss everybody and you wouldn’t lean more with about Jesus and people like Mr. Moses, would you?”

Jessica shook her head with a serious look crossing her features.

“So form now on when I wake you for Sabbath school, it’s something you’ll look forward to, isn’t it?” Silence.

Her mother sat patiently as she watched her daughter think this through. Finally Jessica spoke, asking her a question. “Mommy, daddy is the boss at Sabbath choral, right?”

“Yes, daddy is the superintendent.”

Jessica’s face lit up in a double dimpled smile. She clapped her hands and splashed water all over her, the floor, and her exasperated mother. Giggling with unrestrained glee, Jessica said, “That’s great, mommy! I’m gonna ask daddy to change Sabbath school time to sundown!”~